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| Friday, August 19th, 2005 | | 4:15 pm |
| | Monday, February 2nd, 2004 | | 2:13 pm |
Wow I haven't written in years.. tons have been going on in my life (of course, if this long has gone by and nothing has happened then I must be pretty boring :P) but I don't really feel the need to write everything down so I won't. This is my last semester in college woohoo! Well I shouldn't say that. It's my last semester before I graduate with my first degree, but I want to go on to get a Masters degree in Computer Science.. I'm turning in my application in a few days, I'm scared! My entire life will change depending on if I'm accepted or rejected. Don't you hate those moments in life that you know, depending on how they work out, that the rest of your life will be different, but yet you can't control what happens? | | Sunday, September 29th, 2002 | | 8:31 pm |
be carefull what you find.....
I was randomly looking at journals tonight and ran into this one insane girl... most of her garbled entries included a weird picture, this is one of the more graphic ones portraying her personality.... this will teach me to use the random button again :P  | | Sunday, September 1st, 2002 | | 1:19 pm |
a quote from some guy right before he passed out on the floor drunk off his ass :P 'His bahina was soooo big that when his grandmother sat around the house, she made change for guys that have quarters!' try to make sense out of that one :P PS 'GIRLS GONE WILD' HAS COME TO CHICO CALIFORNIA WOOOOOO PARTYYYY! (watch on TV for me, i'm one of the guys dancing wildly in the background :P) | | Wednesday, July 24th, 2002 | | 6:03 pm |
oh yeah, another twist, him and her are trying to set me up with her cousin who supposedly looks like her (woo :P), so.. i mean i havent even met her cousin yet so maybe once I do the rest of this wont matter anymore, but who knows, just another carrot in the pot to think about | | 5:57 pm |
if a good friend of yours introduces you to this girl he is interested in, and you end up falling for her, and so when he's not there you start talking with her and really hit it off, and find out that he has really just been playing around with her and hasn't told her for sure what he wants, is it ok to go for it? I mean my friend and her have done a lot together... if you know what i mean.. but its nothing official because he likes to leave his options open, but that sucks for her, she wants a more solid relationship, and not like he doesnt have enough other girls out there he's doing the same thing with... but i still feel kind of weird, any opinions? | | 4:06 am |
*flex*
woo! tonight at the drivethru of carls jr i picked up + got picked up by a couple of hot girls :P It was funny how it happened, like we were talking, and I thought screw it, I might as well ask for their freaking number, if they say no oh well there are 2000 other girls out there right? So just as I say 'so do I get your phone number?' they were like 'we were just about to ask you the same thing!' it was funny. Amazing at the same time though, I mean these girls were HOT, and here they were wanting MY phone number! talk about a confidence booster, maybe I'm not that bad looking after all :). Even if we never talk again, I'll never forget how I asked and wasn't turned down, so that means it could easily happen with other girls as well! Current Mood:  bouncyCurrent Music: Kid Rock - I am the Bullgod | | Thursday, July 18th, 2002 | | 6:15 pm |
weeee I got my phoneline fixed finally so I'm back on the net :P I got my car fixed too so I'm back on the road, all I need is to get my head fixed so I get back to reality :P | | Thursday, July 4th, 2002 | | 1:30 pm |
weeeeee
my life rocks atm. I just noticed that everyone loves me :) Amy and I broke up which is wonderfull, now I get to hang out on the computer again :P I need to find a girl that likes computers as much as I do, and won't get all bitchy just cuz I spend a few hours playing a game. Also, Mike (this guy at work) is going to hook me up with an internship! I'm going to be making 15$ an hour doing Web Development. Only catch is, I have some stuff to learn. It's going to take me about 2 months to learn what I need to get this job (PHP, DHTML, Flash, and this development program they use there which I forgot the name of), and then its fun time :). I went to the financial aid office yesterday, and everything is all set up now for me to get my student loans to cover all my credit card bills and pay off my dad for my car so i'll be totally in the clear there. Peace out everyone (btw did I mention I got on the Dean's Honor Roll List for last semester? :) ) Metallica rules the world. Nickleback too! woo! *dances around* | | Saturday, June 29th, 2002 | | 11:02 am |
*yawn*
just got back from Brianna and Jessica-Jeans' house :) JJ (guy) and I went there after work last night and hung out, JJ left at like 3 am and I spent the night. Did something there that I've never done before, and to tell you the truth it wasn't that spectacular. I'm glad that I tried it though, and even more glad I didn't really enjoy it :P Plus I got to know JJ (girl) and Bri more, and realized that even though they are hot, they're not my type :P It's good to experiment because then you know what's going on! | | Thursday, June 27th, 2002 | | 3:29 pm |
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee now the 7:30 to 4 am shift that i've been working gets graveyard pay! So now I'm making $7.40 an hour! I can't wait till school starts, im going to only work 7:30 to 4 on friday and saturday and thats it. It will rock only working 2 days a week, and I'll still be making 400$ a month. I'm going to get a student loan to pay my dad off for the car, so that will reduce my bills to just over 300 a month. GO ME | | Friday, June 21st, 2002 | | 3:42 pm |
wooaah so looks like i havent written in a while :P thats cuz my life is boring! hehe it will get better later though, I have so much in my future it blows my mind. It will be kind of sad when i finally settle down with something, because right now I have a million options ahead of me and it feels great. It is also kind of scary, because once I'm out of school I will be out of that security of always knowing what is going to happen next. Wtf am I going to do after I graduate? The options can be a little overwhelming too. With a degree in computer science about 100202042 different kinds of jobs are open for you, and I have no idea which one I want or will get. And where will I live? I know I want to stay on the west coast, but thats about it. Another option I've kind of kicked around is working in a foreign country for a few years. That's something to do early in life when you dont have a family and house and everything tying you down, and it gives you an awesome experience of a different culture and language and whatnot, and looks great on your resume for when you return home. Hehe maybe I'll just stay in school forever so I don't have to make these choices :P But that would mean postponing getting a cool job and I can't have that.. I CANT WAIT to get into a real career where I'm actually getting payed what I'm worth and enjoy doing it. I want to work in a huge coorporate office building on like the 76th floor. One of those buildings that has its own resteraunt and recreation center and whatnot for the employees. I want to have my own office, or heck even a cubicle would be great where I can hang dilbert comic strips on the wall. And best of all I'd be rolling in the money! :P Average income of computer science majors graduating from my college (this is right out of school, first job) is on average 50,000 a year. Some got as high as 70,000 right out of college! I've looked at the want ads, and with only a year of experience, a computer science major can get 90,000 a year! That beats the pants off this fast food job I have right now, which I hate doing and pays crap. People say if you find a job doing what you love, it's not work. I can't wait till I'm getting payed to program computers, that will definetely not be work for me. Well anyway I've been rambling long enough. bye :P | | Friday, May 17th, 2002 | | 2:28 pm |
I can sympathize with obsessive people, this is how they must feel all the time. sucks to be us. | | Thursday, May 16th, 2002 | | 11:50 pm |
bleh, welcome to my emotional rollercoaster, i just have more of those loopie-loops then most :P | | 8:24 pm |
sigh :( she really doesn't like me as much as she used to.. it seems like she hardly tolerates me at some points, like im this little fly buzzing around her head that refuses to go away, i guess im lucky she's so nice so i havent been swatted yet | | 10:50 am |
I need Krystle so much right now I can taste it, I can't do anything till she comes back online at least... Current Mood:  distressed | | 9:57 am |
woot I got the raise :P now I'm making slightly above minimum wage! power to the fast food worker! | | Monday, May 13th, 2002 | | 10:27 pm |
revision...
well after talking to krystle about this, i've come to my senses. She said she loved that I loved her, but that we really couldn't know what's going to happen later. She pointed out how I was forcing her to stay with me by saying I would be miserable if she left me. This of course is completely the opposite of what I want, I want her to be happy not put chains on her and force her to do something she doesn't want. She said that she would just have to kill herself if she met someone else so that I wouldn't have to be sad. Which is funny, because if she dies of course its going to be even worse, and I know for a fact that if she meets someone else she won't care about me anymore. So the bottom line was, apparently she doesn't feel about me the same way I feel for her, and I need to put a reign on my feelings or I'm going to get hurt later when she leaves me. She doesn't want to be with me right now because its too stressfull and she says its too long to wait, and things change. The good old 'we'll see' which is equal to 'dont hold your breath' in a nice way. Well I know myself and I won't give up on this, but I'm going to give her the space she wants and not mention us getting married or dating any more. Current Mood:  crushed | | 12:50 pm |
life, love, and the pursuit of happiness...
wow, i looked back on the dates of my ljs and this is my first real entry in like 3 months :P But I'm in a contemplative mood, lots of stuff happening in my life atm and its good to go over stuff in writing. First off, School: School rocks atm, this is the last week of classes before finals then summer vacation woo! I'm doing great in my classes, this is my best semester since I went to college, I finally pulled my crap together and started doing stuff. A tip to anyone else entering college: DO THE HOMEWORK :P Anyway my self esteem in that regards is great and relieves a lot of the stress I had before when I was just barely passing my classes. One thing I noticed though, is that there is always a standard. Where before I was worried that I would get below a C, now I have to be worried wether I'll get below an A or B. People always expect you to achieve a certain level and if you don't then you disappoint (especially yourself). So really, you can't get away from that level of stress. As far as where my school is going in the future? I only have 4 semesters left in my college career. I've already signed up for next semester, then there are 3 more. I planned those out on paper as far as which classes I'm going to take, and woo! I only have to take 15 units, then 16, then 15. When I had planned it out like a year ago I thought it would be 17, 18 and 18. Turns out my little talk with the counseler about being on academic probation showed me that I had to take less classes then I orginally thought :). So that's great too, I won't be bogged down with full loads of classes and I can still get some work in to pay my bills. That will be my next subject. One final thing is contemplating my masters degree. I don't know if I should just continue on after this and get my Masters out of the way before I get a real job, or if I should get a job first then go do my masters later or not at all. Of course if I don't get good enough grades thats out of the question to begin with, but assuming I do... one pro for going for it right away is that I'm already set up here at college, it wouldn't take much effort to keep going, if I left then tried to come back later there would be a lot of hassles involved with that as well the laziness aspect. I'm in school mode now, if I leave I'll probably never want to go back. But then again, how much will a masters really help? I'm excited to get into the computer industry and I don't know if another year of school would be the right thing for me. Another thing, college rocks because now, for the first time in 20 years of schooling, I will actually be taking technical computer classes next semester that will pertain to my future job! No more history and biology and all that crap I'll never need! woo! :P Work: work sucks as usual. this is part of the reason why I want to get into the computer industry so bad. Here I am slaving away (it is hard work and very frustrating, stressful at times) and I only get payed 6.75 an hour. If I was working with computers (a job I would actually enjoy) I would be getting payed 40$ an hour. I would actually feel like I'm getting what I'm worth, without the stress of fast food. But that aside things are going well, in fact I think I'm going to get a raise in effect 1rst of June :). I love the people at work, Wendy, JJ, Jared, Crystal, anyone I didn't mention, you guys all rock. If it weren't for them I wouldn't be able to stand the place. With the high turnover of a place like fast food, turns out that there are only about 4 people out of the 20+ or so working (besides managers) that have been there longer then I have. Pretty sad :P But I'm goin on 7-8 months. This summer I'm going to work full time (aside from taking a couple weeks off to go see family back home) to help pay off some bills, then next semester I'm going to cut back to like two days a week so I can focus on studies. Relationships: Well as everyone probably knows now Krystle and I have.. or had.. a thing.. or something :P It's been crazy the past couple of weeks with us since she left, lots of mixed emotions and stuff. The 6 weeks she was here with me was absolute bliss, and I regret a lot of the things I did to make her stay less than enjoyable. I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and I've decided that she's the one for me. I'm going to do everything in my power to make her happy, and I'm going to marry her one day when our lives are settled. Everything about her makes me smile, and I can't imagine how I can grow old without her by my side. I know she is going through a lot as far as her feelings for her ex but I have hope that in the future she will feel the same about me, and I'm going to be there for her through this. I know we discussed breaking up and being free and not stressed and whatnot, but none of that matters to me anymore. The chains she would put around me would be like strings of flowers, I want nothing less. I've told her I want to marry her but I'm not sure she realizes the full extent of my feelings, I hope she knows what she's getting into by keeping me around :) She needs someone to show her how much she is really worth. Krystle is the most amazing girl I know. She is beautiful, funny, sweet, and any number of other things. I can't believe all the things we have in common! And we have just enough things different about us to keep things interesting :) I need her in my life or I'll be alone forever. Even if I end up finding someone else, I will still be incomplete. I love her. | | Monday, May 6th, 2002 | | 4:31 pm |
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